How to Get the Most Out of Couples Counseling

People sometimes forget that relationships may require hard work to maintain.  Everyone can be difficult to get along with in their own way, and some friction between partners is probably inevitable.  Tolerance, patience, and compromise by both parties are part of the price to be paid for the happiness that a successful partnership can bring.  In my experience, couples overcome their differences only when they each truly believe that the rewards are worth the effort, and they commit to doing what is necessary.

The effectiveness of couples counseling is related not only to the motivation of both parties to put in the effort, but also to the timing.  The time to get help is not when one or both partners have already given up on the relationship.  Only when both are still committed to remaining together can couples counseling be a catalyst for lasting change.

Couples counseling can help with:

• Identification and change of toxic behavior patterns
• Increase of trust and improvement of communication skills
• Implementation of techniques to de-escalate and resolve conflicts
• Development of insight and perspective into the relationship

If you and your partner choose to try counseling together, consider these suggestions:

• Take it seriously. Commit to the work and put in the necessary time and effort.
• Try to be open about your feelings.  The process will work best when both partners feel safe enough to be vulnerable with each other.
• Accept your share of responsibility.  Don’t expect your partner to make all the changes.
• Find a therapist you both feel comfortable with.  A good counselor will not take sides, but rather should serve as a neutral third party.
• Be realistic with your expectations.  Healing and growth take time, so don’t expect a quick fix.

If you and your partner are experiencing relationship problems and think that you might need assistance, consider reaching out sooner rather than later.  I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.